Rob Pattinson's Goatee: An Intervention

11/15/2013 at 11:38 AM ET

Rob Pattinson GoateeJason Merritt/Getty for GO Campaign

Oh, Rob. Sweet, sweet, silly Robert Pattinson. We know you’re going through a confusing time right now, what with your new flirtations and old loves reportedly back in your life. And maybe, in your emotional turmoil, you started shaving your face and then turned away from the mirror in disgust halfway through. Or perhaps one boo likes your face bearded and the other prefers it clean-shaven, so you’re hedging your bets. Or could it be that you just misunderstood the directions for Movember?

RELATED PHOTOS: Happy Movember! Real men wearing major mustaches in the 1970s!

Whatever the reason, this fuzzy chin strap is not your best look. Oh, sure, we know you’re not vain. There’s been this, and this, and especially this to prove that point. But when you’ve been blessed with a lantern jawline, highlighting the pointiest part of it isn’t manly — it’s sort of “Lord of the Rings Elfin Extra.” And as we all know, you are no extra in sci-fi/fantasy films. You’re the Leading Man.

Listen, don’t get us wrong. Just because we prefer you clean shaven doesn’t mean we can’t admit that a full beard totally works for you in a hipster lumberjack kinda way. But much like your love life, you can’t have it both ways. We’re going to need you to make a decision and either shave the *NSYNC-style goatee, or go full Duck Dynasty.

We remain your eternally devoted (vampire joke),
PEOPLE StyleWatch

Anything you’d like to say to Rob about his funky goatee? Join our intervention in the comments.

–Alex Apatoff

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Showing 31 comments

unf on

He looks gorgeous!

lana on

I do not find him all that attractive. Sorry.

Jill on

I don’t see anything wrong with it…

abby on

Haven’t you guys heard of Movember? Men’s Health month where they grow crazy styles of facial hair. They all do it.

Diane on

He looks good to me. How about the author put a photo of themself up?

charlu on

Movember is about growing a moustache not an ugly goatee. My boyfriend, brother & brother-in-law all do it.

Tessa on

I love Rob clean shaven – his facial hair only hides how good looking he is.

Skiwoman61 on

Yuck.Shave it off,Rob

Carrie on

Wow! What the Style Watch people are rude and passive agressive.

carol lange on

He has sex appeal not gorgeous , but very charming,umm.

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