John Mayer Wants a Haiku About His Hair

05/03/2008 at 01:30 PM ET

Humberto Carreno/Startraksphoto

After a May Day blog post about his new look, John Mayer — and his new feathered ’80s-haircut–headed out to New York’s Soho Friday night, still talking about, yes, his newly shorn tresses. “I want everyone who reads PEOPLE magazine to know how important this haircut is,” Mayer said outside the Comedy Cellar after performing a private performance standup routine inside. “It’s important because it draws people together. Feel it. Run your fingers through my hair, and tell me what it feels like.” And hair was the only topic on Mayer’s mind, having brushed off questions about his Miami weekend with Jennifer Aniston, saying, “Forget about blogs.” Instead, Mayer took this reporter’s hand and insisted that she run her fingers through his hair again — and again. “Run your fingers through it all the way and describe what it feels like,” he said, before demanding, “Now, write a haiku about what my hair feels like.” It couldn’t be done on the spot. “That’s the thing,” he said. “No one can do it,” before climbing into the front seat of his car and driving away. Tell us:Can you write a haiku about John Mayer’s hair?

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Showing 164 comments

anonymous on

Um…. he is so weird……

Brianna on

Thick and silky
His hair is reminescent
Of the eighties.

That’s my Haiku!

sara on

Haiku for your hair
it is such a wonderland
Plagiarism feels great!

Amanda on

Sometimes he is weird but he is just so hot.

susieq on

Long soft tresses
silk worms weaving
john Mayer’s hair

valerie brin on

Well he doesnt look bad with this haircut but i have to say i prefer him with his curly locks even though john still looks hot.

giannakali on

that’s brilliant

m. on

softer hair softens the face
but is it worth all
of the hype surrounding it

Whatever on

Hey there John Mayer
Get over your stupid hair
You’re not that special

Jane on


Daisy on

Vain much?

Kate on

John Mayer is weird
Really, really, really weird
Touch those silky locks

Alexandra on

I’m annoyed with myself for even reading an article about this idiot. Even if he’s trying to be funny (which he isn’t), he is so phenomenally self-important and self-absorbed. Get a grip, John Mayer. No one cares about your stupid haircut or your goal to look like you’re from the 80s, least of all the reporter who you inflicted yourself (and your lame looking hair) upon.

sarah on

wow. he’s completely bonkers.

Traci on

Here’s a haiku for him.

Narcissitic Man
Concerned only with himself
Royal pain in the a**.

SK on

feathered wings that poof
our history is vengeful
says john mayer’s hair

Allie on

he wasn’t being serious right? cuz if he was…um weirdo!

Julie on

I’m not sure what John Mayer is doing. It seems fame as really gotten to his head. He seems to take a satirical approach to the celebrity “news” and stuff like that, but he is only perpetuating it by doing things like this. He knows People will report stuff that is in his blog, but he writes it anyways. If he really wanted to do something different, he’d shut up and let his music speak for itself.

Emily on

haha i love how no one commented yet

Sherry on

John Scissorhands.

Anonymous on

A Haiku for John Mayer’s hair

Over Mayer’s eyes,
The silkiness of the stands,
the brown feathers fall.

Pond Gems on

Silky soft tresses
Brown velvet hair of marvel
Shining in the sun

k wells on

Run your hands through it
It really does feel like silk
No, I could not resist.

KtLA on

totally super HOT
the power of mcfly
go Jen

Alex on

Well, I think I can rise to the challenge!

A Haiku for John Mayer’s 80’s Hair:

I haven’t felt it,
But I think that John Mayer
Has cool eighties hair

Put that on your blog, John!

Gemma on


Angelina on

I think John Mayer is a little stuck on himself! Good grief! It’s just hair… who cares!

pinky_spinx on

ok, how VAIN is this guy??? i swear, his music is so nice to listen to, but all John likes to talk about is himself… seriously! bigheaded much?

sandy on


Kathi on

Umm… I’m thinking either too much to drink or perhaps some illegal substance?? Or just way too much time on his hands and not enough to worry about or focus on? What other reason could there possibly for making such a big deal about a haircut (and an outdated on at that?) I get my hair cut every six weeks and I don’t run around talking about it and practically forcing people to rub their hands through it; begging for acceptance of it!! Just a bit weird for me….

Karen on

My fingers would run,
Through your hair before the grip,
Of your bodyguard.

Nora on

Hey John — news flash — no one cares about your hair.

Jonathan Bodack on

What is a haiku, etc.!?

Nikki on

silk autumn blossoms
sun in feathered decades still
hip dance floor mover

kristen. b. on

i dont care what his hair looks like.. as long as he could sing to me all day long. haha

Katrina on

Haiku for John:

Strands of silken hair
Fingers dance among the crown
Fall soft to his nape

Rena on

Grace Jones square cut top

Billy Idols Blondie Mop

John Mayor rocks Fox

Christine on

Fluffy, soft, feathers
Nineteen Eighties new again
John’s new work of art

Amanda on

John has a new ‘do
Run your fingers through his hair
Tell him it looks good.

nicole on

are’nt haikus about nature?
but ya..

his hair is silky
his hair is what I wish for
so original


Linda on

Chocolate hair
Above that face
I would groom it with my tongue like a cat

Mary on

Shorter is sexy
Run your fingers through his hair
Soft, silky, black mane.

Corissa on

Jessie is a friend,
yeah, I know he’s been
a good friend of mine
But lately something’s changed
that ain’t hard to define
Jessie’s got himself a girl
and I want to make her mine
And she’s watching him with those eyes
And she’s lovin’ him with that body,
I just know it
Yeah ‘n’ he’s holding her
in his arms late,
late at night

Thats what your hair reminds me of. I love it. Its sweet!

Christine Blair on

Here’s my haiku about John Mayer’s hair

Surely lost I am
Running my fingers through this
Sexier you are

Anonymous on

He is a dork>

Hairy Haiku Wanted By John Mayer « All The News That’s Fit To Print on

[…] Hairy Haiku Wanted By John Mayer May 3, 2008 Filed under: Wacky Celebrity Hair — gervmaine @ 8:31 pm Tags: John Mayer John Mayer Wants a Haiku About His Hair […]

Alyssa on

Wait, I’ve got one…

John Mayer’s new hair
is just not as important
as he thinks it is.

Molly on

You’re so very vain
You’re haircut is oh so lame
You should be ashamed

Erin Harrison on

A haiku about John’s hair:

short or long, curly or straight
silky smooth to touch
not just ordinary hair



Dawn Coller-Rogers on

Fingers Running, Toss

Sweete Lorraine nineteen
Seventy four cut so too
Blissed dries spring dawn walks

A+J on

Thick, wavy and brown
If only I could touch it
Thank you for him, God.

Nicole on

Is he on drugs or does he need to be?

Joy on

Feathery and brown
not so Michael J. Fox as
it is Rick Springfield

Joy on

Feathery and brown
not as Michael J. Fox as
it is Rick Springfield

sassybelle on

he’s full of hot air
to think that he might deserve
a poem about hair

Ang on

Haiku for John Mayer

Big head, feathered hair
Ego and publicity
Silken confidence

Anonymous on

Is it just me or is he incredibly full of himself?

Ang on

Alternate Haiku for John

Silken chocolate
How can one describe it else
Let your fingers play

Kim on

silky 80’s hair
and my plastic in the dirt
keep it real, John M.

Anonymous on

it is so stupid
his eightys hair looks like crap
John Mayer go away

Jaimee on

it is so stupid
his 80s hair looks like crap
John Mayer go away

Lynn on

John Mayer’s 80’s hair
so soft and silky to touch
he makes the girls cry

Katie on

The silky softness
Body is a wonderland
How lucky is Jen?

Personally, I’m loving Mr. Mayer’s new do. Congrats to Ms. Anniston for scoring this kind of man. Vince who?

Ali on

Joy Of Life

Cut to lightness silk
Youth joy dries on spring dawn walks
Locks toss, fingers run

crystal on

what a loser

Becky on

Here is my Haiku:

John – get over it
Your hair is not exciting –
Nor is your swimwear

Tiffany P. on

haiku 1.
black,shiny, soft hair.
it’s feathered to perfection.
and very silky

haiku 2.
you want to be mike.
so you got your hair feathered.
but you are still john.

Meredith on

Long silky brown hair
Luxuriously Handsome
Nice, John Mayer, Nice.

Barbara on

You know John may be a very nice guy but he is always doing something really weird/off the wall. Maybe it’s just for attention or maybe he really is a fruit loop. ;)

Jennifer on

John’s new feathered coif
John Hughes movies, Jordache ads
Brings back memories

christin on

flowing in the air
no moose no gel just wash wear
its my eighties hair

Debbie on

Tresses so bouncy
Goody comb in back pocket
White boy likes guitar

amit on

what a superficial guy… seems luke he’s too emotionally involved with a haircut. I hope he’s joking, because I had a lot more respect for him.

Jorie Gram on

What John Mayer’s Hair Looks Like

His head has molted
Mature Eighties-style feathering
He’s Simon Le Bon

805 on

It’s sound silly.
I’m a japanese,
and just wondering
why he want to show off
his knowledge
about Japanese culture,
even though his Japanese is not so good.

Leslie on

John where are your curls
Will you lose your sex appeal
Was it just split ends

Haiku in mourning of John Meyer’s summer haircut

Sarah on

What an idiot.

Shopoholic on

It is feather-like(5 syllables)
Very 70’s retro.(7 syllables)
Soft as a baby.(5 syllables)

Samantha on

Dearest John Mayer,
I’m waiting on you to change
Get Over Your Hair

Laura on

80’s hairdo sits
atop his beautiful forehead
making girls giddy

feathered bangs adorn
that glorious Mayer visage
sets hearts aflutter

**there ya go…2 haikus**
neither of them is very good, but at least I tried.

sharon on

hahhahah this was funny

nina nelson on

who gives a ****** about John Mayer’s hair?!!

febby on

Woow, great look..

Here my free haiku for new hais style of
John Mayer..
You can do a lot positive things to inspire young people with that new look!!

Kamisama kara kita anata wa..

sekai juu de homerareteru anata wa..

Atarashii he-a sutairu de, motto motto hansamu ni naru anata wa..

kyou no kanashisa wo nakuseru yo..

You, who came from God’s hands..
You, who is adored by women in the whole world
You, who is more and more handsome in the new hair style..
(You) can wipe away my sadness today…

Hope you like it!! :D

Ellie on

You know when John Mayer first appeared on the scene he was an nice guy. Now he deems it appropriate to be a cocky jerk. I guess he forgot who made him famous and we aren’t impressed with his sarcasm. BTW. . .no one cares about your hair!!!! And to think I used to be a fan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LM on

I think it looks hideous!

jspring on

Aren’t there deeper concerns in this world than one individuals’ hair style? This seems extremely shallow and self centered.

Amanda on

John has a new ‘do
Run your fingers through his hair
Tell him you like it

Kylie Gould on

silky sexy sleek
your hair is so fine; be mine
john mayer love the do!

Jen Aniston (: on

john you are so sweet
you are so nice to me
you tuck me in at night
your voice is so pretty
never let me go
i love you so much
my baby forever.

Risa on

I love him! hes hillarious. I wanna run my fingers through his hair. haha

Terryl Chapman on

The childless singer, how hopelessly he seeks the touch of loving hands.

Chelly on

soft, silky tresses
cascade across shoulders
perfect hair forever

Jena on

There is no such thing
As hair too voluminous or soft
Except on a man

Jen Aniston, huh?
Are you jealous of Brad Pitt?
Can I touch your hair?

John, you have a call
Not now chief, I’m in the zone
But it’s your stylist

Silky, silky smooth
People, write me a haiku
It cannot be done

What up John Mayer
You are totally ridic
Eighties hair is rad

Oh vain John Mayer
You’re a bitch because you can
Lost in the Eighties

Rubic’s Cube, The Cure
The Breakfast Club, Tiffany
John Mayer’s haircut

Teach me your wise ways
Revivalist of bad hair
You just lost a fan

Oh beautiful hair
The feather softness is great
I need to touch it

John mayer has hair
It’s soft like distant thunder
Touch me with your hair

John has holy hair
Its glory shines among us
Teach me your secrets

Skin like porcelain
Your hair is a wonderland
Tickle me with it

Oh, oh gravity
It is working against me
Bringing my hair down

I’m setting a trend
It was wrong to begin with
But I’m John Mayer

sylvie on

Seems to have too much time on his hands to think about himself…why doesn’t he talk about something important going on in the world. He’s so vain!!

Jen on

The last style was my favorite – maybe this one will grow on me. He is still a beautiful man. Why is he never featured in the 100 Most Beautiful issue? Don’t forget Mr Mayer in the sexiest man list this time! He deserves the cover if I can put my vote in! Hot Hot Hot

Moira on

Layered Mayer hair
Feathered across a big skull
Alex Keaton .. Not



chanel_90 on

hey john..i might not be a poet as you are but…

don’t worry john mayer
your hair seems soft silk and it’s
as bright as the sun

okay, maybe i don’t have any idea of how to write a haiku but what i want to say is that i love john mayer with any hair..and even if i still prefer his amazing curls i agree that young people should appreciate the 80s!!
john mayer, you’re the #1!!!

chanel_90 on

hay i wanna add that i definitely agree with the comment of the day:

“John Mayer is so hot he could shave all his hair off, walk around town in a burlap sack and rainbow tights, and I’d still kiss the ground he walks on.”

i wanna say whoever wrote this is great, i’d do the same!!

John Mayer Calls for Haikus on

[…] met with reporters from People Magazine, John made the reporter run her hands through his hair, over and over and OVER […]

Heidi on

What a jerk!! Go to the gym then show something worth talking about! Jennifer get out before u r the topic of weird conversation…This isn’t John’s first “make fools of the press”…

Randi C. Roberts on

I can see the grey
clouds from life in the fast lane
as celebrity

Kristi P 47 on

Your hair is now soft and silky like your skin. I love running my fingers through your silky soft hair. As I kiss your soft moist lips. Your so good looking with dark hair. It makes you look mysterious. I keep hearing that song you wrote about running through my highschool as I rub my hands through your hair. You will never be alone again John, highschool is over but your hair is in. Silky and soft days are here to stay. So KISS me.

Stacey on

No one cares about you
Or your rediculous hair
You are NOT all that

Kerry on

you used to be cute
now you just look like my dad
your hair is fluffy.

Season on

Spectacular hair
Its the wind beneath my wings
I am puking now

Asha on

Shiny flowy strands
Hommage to family ties
Reflects rainbow light

Tracey on

Risky business
Flashback retro chic or weak
Only time will tell

Emily on

Hair shmair…John, my dear
You could be bald and still hot
Lucky reporter

patricia on

new hair new woman
young man Seasoned
thighs fingers mend
lets not split hairs

Lacy on

Do we even care
It’s nice, but just Mayer’s hair
Get over yourself

Cherie on

whispy breezy softness
sweaty on stage again
emerges again clean

Spicy Pants on

Bringing 80s love
Shorn layers is his freedom
No tangles no more

mom2acutie on

feathered bird of wood
holly branches of your hair
war does not compare

seems so unimportant when compared to other things, but how un-american of me to care about things other than a celebrity’s hair

mom2acutie on

feathered bird of wood
holly branches of your hair
war does not compare

Write a Haiku for John Mayer | Celebrity Smack! Gossip & Entertainment Blog on

[…] are kinda fun to read, but it’s obvious some people have no idea what a Haiku is. Go ahead, write your own. Yours might get featured on People magazine. This entry was posted on Monday, May 5th, 2008 at […]

Tonya on

Write a song,
Ceast praising your hair,
Pick up guitar

Spicy on

Silken layered locks

His haircuts a wonderland

Bringing 80s back

English Teacher on

I stop to think if
any of you really know
what a haiku is.

Ashley on

John Mayer is hot
Regardless of his hair cut
Please leave him alone

Mike West on

snatch the pebble john

you are now a grasshopper

with a blow dryer

kelly k on

You’re not a woman
So why obsess on your hair?
It’s not the next “rachael”

eurekacheese on

Sounds good to me:

Your hair looks stupid
kinda like Tom Cruise, but he
had cooler glasses

linda on

Although,looks better than the green male thong.

Skyler on

Apparently some of the contributors do not understand the concept of a Haiku.

Haiku is a kind of Japanese poetry. In Japanese, hokku and haiku are traditionally printed in one vertical line (though in handwritten form they may be in any reasonable number of lines). In English, haiku are written in three lines to equate to the three parts of a haiku in Japanese that traditionally consist of five, seven, and then five on (the Japanese count sounds, not syllables; for example, the word “haiku” itself counts as three sounds in Japanese (ha-i-ku), but two syllables in English (hai-ku), and writing seventeen syllables in English produces a poem that is actually quite a bit longer, with more content, than a haiku in Japanese). The kireji (cutting word or pause) usually read at the end of either the first or second line. A haiku traditionally contains a kigo (season word) which symbolizes or intimates the season in which the poem is set with some reference to the natural world.

– taken from Wikepedia

Amanda Townsend on

Bo Duke calling you
John angel of pop music
love your sexy ‘do

Drew on

My hair demeanor,
Nineteen eighty-one or two?
Norelco blow dry!

who cares on

John Mayer freaks me out
I do not think he is hot
Even with his new hair

Cece on

He’s weird

Carlie on

A wealth of soft hair
Windswept and sunkissed beckons
The fingers to play

Becky on

My haiku:

Short, shorn sable mane
Scissor tamed to retro coiff
Forehead peek-a-boos through mop

taydad on

So full of himself
poser extraordinaire
threw up in my mouth

the sound of his voice
much less talent than his hair
please just go away

Desperate haircut
pay attention to me please
my career is gone

divaangel on

The wonder that is
Hair today, gone tomorrow
Not John Mayer’s wit.

mook on

follicle follies
gives your music a backseat
spears and hilton welcome you

Heather on

Moving with the wind
Someone bought a straightener
Takes to long to style

Jorine on

Finger addiction
Down pillows, a bubble bath
Greased lightning it’s not

tanya furtado on

Coifed Hair is Rockin’
B An In-Di-Vi-Du-Al
Respect Your Choices

April on

My Haiku!

The Karate Kid!
If one makes fun of your hair
Just wax on,wax off

Jasmine on

Johnny Depp inspired
Takes me back to high school days
The eighties are back!

Anonymous on

looks the same
looks the same
…still…looks the same

hailua on

subtle pauses
like the sun
ray of meaning
just begun

Kung-Fu Haiku Master on




HeatherS on

I’m amused that the only proper hauki (look it up, people; you’ve got computers ) is totally disparaging of this poor schmoe. He probably just totally loves 21 Jump Street. He does seem to have a Johnny Depp thing about him…

john worships johnny
has his face, his hair, his name
next he’ll date kate moss

Hector Alvarez on

John Mayer’s hair is
what makes the world go round and
my soul led me here

Mel on

Shedding the past
Nourshing rich black soil
Reviving yourself

Jade on

Bring back a feeling.
There’s a reason for this hair.
Not about the look.

Walter Disney on

Dive belly dive
Reinstate my soft ego
with looks that kill.

Bored on

Shaggy locks removed
Feathers feathers everywhere
Eighties style couture

Christi on

Michael J Fox once said, “I got tired of turning on the TV and seeing my own face,”
Good job on the haircut John

brit on

thank GOD he cut it
before it looked like s**t
still hate his music

Danielle on

You write lovely songs
But you are still a huge tool
See ya July tenth!

Matt Mason on

kenny loggins says
it best, john mayer: highway
through the danger zone

Jen on

He’s an idiot

sava on

the hair is awesome
the hair of john mayer rules all
Respect the mayer locks

Jen on

This is what is wrong with most celebrities. They have the power to draw so much attention to anything they want, but instead of bringing attention to important issues, he’s drawing attention to his hair.


Kristin on

It’s perfect, flawless
So broken in, so you
Your sexy new “do”

Katie on

It’s John Mayer’s hair…
Apparently it’s silky
But it’s not that great.

Patricia on

Wannabe Tom Cruise,
Who cant get his own hair-do,
qeer strange obsesed freak.

Trish on

This guy is making fun of himself and most of you don’t have a sense of humour. He is so ridiculous he is funny. Shish!

Sasha on

helmet of chestnut
the razor has won
locks in a pile
its too hot anyway

it was here
fluffy, bouncing
pantene cared
but now its gone gone gone gone gooooone

Mayers hair
long lost love
did he have to fall asleep
with clippers in his hands

Jesse on

People who complain and say he’s vain or weird: CHILL OUT.
It’s called sense of humor.

You don’t have to take everything seriously.
He was obviously joking around to avoid any of those nosy questions about his personal life.
I like this dude, he’s funny, he’s not boring, and he’s just a real, fun, artistic guy. You barely see that in showbiz now.

Waiting on John Mayer’s haircut to change :: SONGSPEAK.COM :: music + lyrics + tv + movies :: quoting things and making mixtapes on

[…] now it seems he’s shaved his head, buzz cut style. Some people say he looks like Jim Carrey. Oh… If you care to write a haiku about his hair, People […]

Laurel on

award winning hair
even my mom wants to touch
silky like ribbons

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